Thursday, 21 May 2015

What is success & how to measure it

Shanti Kate 78 Blog Spot

What is success & how to measure it...

Everyone will have a different answer to this question. This is my reflection which I hope you can learn from. I write about my personal relationship with the word and meaning of success and how recently I have started to reflect on what success means to me, where the meaning came from, what effect does it have on me and is it time to change my success blueprint & how?

Where did my meaning of success come from?
Growing up in a middle class family I learnt (unconsciously) that success is having money in the bank, lots of luxury items, a large house, a good job, going on holiday abroad, a BMW on the driveway, weekly food shopping in Waitrose, money to spend on luxuries and shopping trips in London. 

It was great having all this growing up, then I left home for university and I have NEVER recreated this experience. When I reflect on this it is not because I don't have the ability to go out in the world have a great career, get the money, the house, the car and luxury lifestyle, it is because even with all this stuff in my family I was never truly happy.

What effect does the meaning have on me?
As I write this more ah haa moments start to click in the mind, more realisations of my incongruence, more realisations on why I continuously feel like a failure, why when friends tell me how inspiring I am or how much love they see or how great I am or when people tell me "you are so wealthy beyond the means of money" I feel perplexed & surprised at what they see & say, I automatically delete the positive feedback as they can't be right because I don't have all the results of what I unconsciously picked up to be success.

The key for me and probably for most, is happiness, actually happiness is not the key, happiness is the result. Happiness for me is the way to measure success. As a child I had all the material results of what I was unconsciously lead to believe was success but I was never truly happy. 

What I realise now is my unconsious conditioning has always been cropping up telling me I am a fraud, a failure, people are going to find me out and see what a fraud I am.

What I realise now is that my conditioning of what success is keeps me from feeling truly at peace and happy in life.

Is it time to change the blueprint & how?
Yes it is most definitely time to change the blueprint! 

How can blueprints/conditioning be changed?

Firstly it's already shifting, the other day I took all my dreams, desires and goal lists for 2015  down off my wall, I felt like a failure, things aren't manifesting how I dreamt. I voiced my feelings to a friend that I felt like a failure and then I started to reflect & question..."why do I feel like a failure?" What is success to me?" "where did that meaning coming from?" "can I change it and how?"

My emotions coming up that were not joy were a dead give away that something needs to be looked at. 

Step one....Awareness of my emotions
Step two....Questioning what is happening....what am I feeling......why am I feeling this....what thoughts am I believeing and how is it effecting me
Step three...Now that I have become aware of this what can I do next?

Finding my new ways....
At the beginning of April I went on an amazing, transformational, 10 day teacher training to learn the Ecstatic Awakening Dance Method. During these 10 days I was given a new model of the "keys to success", I believe this was actually the first point of change around what I was believing about what success is. I read the "key of success" and realised my goodness I have all these keys, I like this model it helps me to feel good.

Yesterday I started to reading Esther and Jerry Hicks "The Astonishing Power of Emotions" again another new understanding of what is the result of success...the feeling of joy!

How do I measure success? (the new model)
Happiness, joy and when I feel good.

How will I ensure my success? 
By seeking new models, replacing new beliefs and using my body as a key. 

Find new blueprints, ways & beleifs from others who inspire me.

Look at my options; What makes me feel good in life? What else can I beleive that would support me to feel better within myself? What else can I do to feel successful, to feel good?

Use my emotional system when seeking new beleifs, models, systems, dance methods....does it feel good....yes, keep, drop it!

Keep dancing!!! Keep moving!!! Keep Feeling!!!

Shanti Kate 78

Transformational Coach
Tansformational Dance
Alternative Events UK

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